


through the glass

by aglassfullofhappiness (mehmehs)



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Graphic Description, M/M, Manipulation, Torture, but let's imagine they get saved after this thank you, lab angst, short bc it's too painful basically, what could have happened had they been kept in the lab for longer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:02:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29510784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mehmehs/pseuds/aglassfullofhappiness
Summary: “No, no,please–” Nicky hears himself say, tongue too thick in his mouth, entire body burning and freezing all at once.One possible scenario they might have faced in Merrick's lab, should their family have taken longer to save them.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 15
Kudos: 88





	through the glass

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like everyone and their cat has probably written lab scene angst, but as I was trawling through my mass of snips, I stumbled across this and thought...well. Angst is best shared? I'm sorry. 
> 
> Please heed the tags. I don't think it's gory but it is angsty and somewhat graphic.

At some point, Nicky forgets his own name, or at least the names he’s been using across the last several centuries. All of them blur together, all starting with  _ Ni –  _ curling around his tongue; new and old and him and not all at once.

He never forgets Yusuf’s name.

He is drugged and killed too constantly to keep track of time. He thinks he hears Yusuf, too many times to be real; bites back his own cries when he can, sometimes into the gag they force into his mouth, sometimes through his own tongue. He is sure that when he’s delirious, he does call out for Yusuf. In those moments, he is glad they are separated. He doesn’t want Yusuf to hear him like this.

~*~

“No, no,  _ please _ –” Nicky hears himself say, tongue too thick in his mouth, entire body burning and freezing all at once. His legs seize even as he tries to keep running, instinctively attempting to escape despite the bite of the shock collars around his ankles, his wrists, his throat. He takes another step and collapses, arms too weak to catch himself. It must hurt, he thinks, but he is already in so much pain it barely registers. He feels Kozak shock him, ankle to wrist to throat, and his entire body spasms but it’s only reflexive. He can’t move anymore. He doesn’t know how long he’s been forced to run, but he can’t anymore. Darkness is creeping in the corners of his eyes, and he prays,  _ prays _ for it to take him. Even for a little while. He’d take a little while.

“Nicky,” a voice says, and he recognises Kozak, stepping into the room. He can’t even summon the energy to hate her. “Nicky, come on.”

She crouches down next to him. His eyes can’t focus on much except small details: the edges of her sensible shoes, the hem of her white lab coat. He feels her hand, gentle against his cheek. It’s such an unexpectedly soft touch that he whimpers with it, blinking.

“Nicky,” she says, voice soft. “I know you have more to give me. You got further last time.”

Nicky wants to spit at her, curse her, tell her that he can’t, he can’t,  _ he can’t _ , but he’s not in control of his body anymore. He almost feels like he’s floating above himself, watching the scene unfold.

“Just a little more,” Kozak says, almost like she’s being reasonable. “Just a little more, okay?”

When Nicky doesn’t respond, she pulls something out of her lab coat. She places the device next to Nicky’s face on the floor, and then turns his head for him so he can see the screen.

What he sees slams him right back into his body.

“That’s live CCTV,” Kozak says. Nicky’s hand twitches, and she makes a satisfied noise. “It’s real, Nicky.”

Slowly, agonisingly slowly, Nicky shifts his arm to touch the screen. His fingers leave bloodstains on the white edge. There’s movement on screen and then he hears it, tinny through the speakers but he would recognise that sound anywhere: Yusuf crying out, voice almost gone but unable to stop, so raw Nicky thinks he can taste Yusuf’s blood in his own mouth.

“No,” he says, or tries to. Tears sting his eyes, too heavy to hold back, and his throat closes up. “ _ No _ .”

“Get up,” Kozak says, voice still soft. “Get up, just a little longer, and I’ll stop what they’re doing to him.”

“You’re lying,” Nicky says, before realising he’s speaking in a dead language and says it again in English. “You’re lying to me.”

On screen, there’s a flash of metal, blindingly bright. Joe’s cries cut off in a horrible gurgle. A second later, he screams. Nicky gasps, fingers dragging against the screen like he can reach through it.

“I’ll leave this here,” Kozak says, “and you can see for yourself. Just get up, and do what I know you can. You can stop this. For him.”

Joe’s not screaming anymore. Nicky’s eyes can’t focus on him, but he can make out the shape of him, distorted through the screen. He can  _ see  _ him, after so long; even though the image is more horrific than he can describe, even if it’s completely fake, he  _ sees Yusuf _ . Kozak stands up. She is waiting.

Very slowly, Nicky bends one knee. Then the other. He pushes his feet against the ground, even as it feels like his bones are cracking and glass is twisting under his skin. 

Nicky stands.

**Author's Note:**

> I do think endurance testing around their healing ability would have been on Kozack's list. The sheer resiliency of being able to heal that quickly etc...yikes. But of course, they get saved shortly after this, there's a tonne of comfort after the hurt and that is that, amen. 
> 
> All feedback welcome :)


End file.
